


Not Strong Enough...

by InfiniteFeels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Bad Writing, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Gen, Sad Dean, Sad Sam, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Sam's purple dog shirt, Stanford!Era, purple dog shirt, terrible title skills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 09:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11506884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteFeels/pseuds/InfiniteFeels
Summary: Dean knows he raised Sam to be strong enough for anything, but he never taught himself how to be strong without Sam.





	Not Strong Enough...

**Author's Note:**

> found this in a folder from 2015 and figured i should maybe post SOMETHING to contribute to this fandom instead of just lurking every day. :") 
> 
> I will try to fix the janky formatting sometime when it's not 6:50am and I haven't stayed up all night again.

"I was gonna _tell_ you, Dean!" Sam's voice broke, cheeks red from anger made apparent by the pale wash of moonlight.

"Yeah, Sam. Of course." The venom drained from Dean's voice, taking every ounce of fight from him.

There was an uncomfortable tightness in his throat, felt like a ball of lead slowly sinking into his belly and weighing him down. He would sink without Sam. Sam could tell that Dean didn't believe him and maybe he was right to feel that way. It's sure how everything looked. Sam would feel betrayed if Dean tried to leave in secret. But this was _right_. Sam had to do this. His entire existence had been made up of changing scenery, rundown houses, nowhere to call home.He wanted more. Sam wanted a LIFE. Was that really so very wrong? For the first time, looking at Dean's attempt to squash his anger, his hurt, Sam felt like it might just be.

"I-I'm sorry, Dean.. but if I don't do this..." He bit his lip, scuffing his worn out hand-me-down sneakers into the dust.

Dean could hear the rest of that sentence loud and clear. Sam didn't have to finish it. If Sam stayed, he'd end up just like Dean. Stuck in the game. A soldier in the never ending war of things that go bump in the night. Well, Dean had always known that Sam was meant for more. He HAD to be. He just hadn't thought he'd lose his brother so soon. Their whole lives, the brothers had only been an arm's length apart. Shoulder to shoulder in the Impala, sharing beds or rooms at their furthest. Dean thought he knew how to be alone. They'd grown up alone.

He knew Sam was strong enough, smart enough for this. Dean just wasn't so sure about himself.

"Sammy... just. Be safe, okay?" He had to look away than to hide the sheen in his eyes. He could hardly stand the thought of not having his best friend around anymore. He wasn't so sure he liked how the future looked.

"Dean...of course I will. You know I will. I..." Sam trailed off as a truck blasted by, air blowing his stupid purple dog shirt around his skinny frame. The thing was at least three sizes too big.

"You have supplies? Money?" Dean's hand rested on Sam's scrawny shoulder. The boy was growing like a weed these days. It made Dean ache to think of how he'd change when he was gone.

"Yes," Sam said with upturned lips. He knew how to pack, but he also knew Dean didn't just mean extra pairs of undies and condoms; though surely that counted for something in Dean's view of what a college experience should be.

At Dean's prompting look, Sam sighed and continued, "And I've got holy water, silver knife, my gun, some salt and a hundred sixty bucks..." he trailed off then, knowing that he had what he needed and would make up for the rest when he had a place to sleep and a job opportunity for some money.

He knew how to live on food scraps. He was prepared. He could do this.

  
C'mon," Dean sighed, forcing himself to pull away. If he didn't now, he never would.

"I'll give ya' a ride to town okay?"


End file.
